Creations of an idle mind. The devil lies in the details.
Very good and with the picture prompt too. Well done.Anita
I nearly mistook it for a Roundel, my confusion!!A rhyme scheme of ABba abAB abbaA, is that right!! I could not load the link you have provided!! A beautiful Rondel ~ form of French poetry!! You have done it so well and seems near perfect to me :)
Great that you wound it into the prompt! I have no clue if this Rondel is correct but I enjoyed the read x
Thanks a lot for your comments, Aquarius, Nanka and repressedsoul. @Nanka - Yes rhyme scheme is ABba abAB abbaA,with iambic tetrameter. I am not sure about iambic but tetrameter I managed. Glad a distinguished poet like you found my poem perfect.
heya - nice to meet you and thanks for linking up with us..and wow - covering two challenges in one poem...cool - you've done well and made it almost all the way down iambic tetrameterthe only lines i stumbled a bit were:Has not a care if anyone minds (9 syllables - maybe you can make it no one and then it fits)andPetty ways he deaf to their cries (PET_ty is trochaic and interrupts the flow)those are just suggestions - you did a great job - and rondels don't have to be iambic - it's nice when they are though and yours flows very smoothly - think you could make it easily iambic - you got the skills- very well done
Thanks a lot for visiting my blog and giving detailed feedback, Claudia. I have taken your suggestions and made necessary changes. Hope to catch up with you people on a regular basis and learn about various interesting poem forms.
Nice work linking up the rondel and picture challenge. As you noted, tetrameter works fine here, but just a little editing should bring out the iambic. A couple of tricks that I use: I sometimes write out the whole poem in sentences - as opposed to lines and stanzas - to make sure that the grammar works well. Also, I scan for consistency of point-of-view - to make sure the perspective is always from one of your characters (the bird, the statue, or omniscient); unless the shift is intended. This enables the reader to identify with the primary point-of-view quickly.All in all, a creditable effort. Thanks!
I like the topic, master of the skies. wrote my first rondel today as well.
Thanks a lot for your feedback, Semaphore. I find it very tough to get the iambic right. Maybe I will try during the weekend. I am still new to poetry. I effectively started writing poetries only this month. Your tips are useful. I will try to use them from now on. But do poems always have to have grammar? And regarding pints of view, I wanted to maintain the bird's point of view. But I used 'he' in the second and third stanzas to show pride - referring to self in third person.
Thanks a lot for your comments, She Writing. Shall check out your rondel.
very nice.Your poetry getting better day by day.All the best.
Thanks vhjamdar. Glad you like it.
I liked the second para the most...Its awesome. keep writing.
Thanks Girl with a red bad.
Amazing effort borne fruit in the form of a rondel.
Thanks a lot, Aravind. Nice to see someone commenting on my poem after such a long time. Seems like my re modelling the blog layout did help.
It mustve taken a lot of time to construct such verses carefully. How did you manage understanding such terms and its usgae? :)
@Aravind - Spending time seems pleasurable when you love doing it. I like to construct my poem piece by piece like a craftsman and not just let flow and write.
Kind words of appreciation/feedback