Vantage Points - Part 1

This is a story I had submitted for a contest - a genre that is really not my forte: romance. I have tried to tell a love story as seen from the vantage point of different people. Each part of the story portrays the story as seen by one of the persons, bringing out different facets of the story. I wanted the reader to discover the story like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. The story did not get selected in the contest. So now I am putting it up as a series of blog posts. Feedback on the story is welcome. Read on.... 



Sowmya

This is disgusting! This is just so disgusting! These men! What dogs they are! I can’t even bear the very sight of Ashwin. Look at him! How shamelessly he flirts with every damn girl he comes across! I just loathe him! How can Swati put up with him? The other day he even tried to flirt with me. Can you imagine that? With me of all people! How can he do that? He actually tried to flirt with Swati’s best friend! When I told Swati, she received it all so stoically. She did not utter a single word against him. Just how can she be like that? I just can’t understand!

What is it about him that has made her so completely blind to all his faults? His good looks and boyish charms are of course evident to all. One cannot deny his intelligence either. He has done pretty well in academics. But the most important thing in a guy is character! And he is one of the most depraved characters I have ever seen. He treats the true love of a girl like Swati with such scant respect and goes chasing after every random Hema, Jaya, Rekha and Sushma. Any other boy would have been kissing the shoe strings of a girl like Swati to earn her love. There is no match for her in terms of beauty and grace, in brains and in character. Yet he wants other girls!

I find her more difficult to understand than him. Most men are like him only. But why would a girl like her fall so head over heels over such a man? She has of course told me that she has known him since childhood. But that should have given her more opportunity to see the swine that he is. But no! She is just so completely devoted to him. And him? Does he even realize how much his behavior is hurting her? I feel so sorry for her. All this is breaking her heart. Though she tries to keep a straight face, I can read the deep sorrow in her eyes. How much we used to smile and laugh when we were in college! In the recent times, I can hardly remember when she last laughed. I wish I could somehow break his spell over her.

Next Part of Story: Vantage Points - Part 2

11 comments:

Diwakar Narayan said...

So, you are going to write with alternative POV, I suppose. Nice start. Just curious to know how many parts you have planned for it.

The Fool said...

Thanks Diwa. No planning - It is already written. Only needs to be published - 6 parts are there.

Rachna said...

So the HC one. Amit is also showcasing his story on his blog. Okay so Soumya is opinionated, Ashwin seems to be an incurable flirt and Swati is blind to his faults. Let's see how it progresses.

The Fool said...

I guess I should check it out. I don't follow his blog regularly. You also had written for this one, no? You plan to keep it for other opportunities?

You summarized aptly what I wanted to convey - a third person's point of view of the characters.

the little princess said...

i showcased mine too....! and i broke it into parts too...! this has started off interestingly...so what happens next?

The Fool said...

I will be posting the other parts over the next week to 10 days. Hope you follow it to the last. I shall check out your story too.

Rachna said...

Yes, I had. No I am not participating in any contests :). And I only wrote that story because it is my own. I don't know if I should publish it on my blog.

N.S.Kirti said...

I was totally planning to comment after I read all the parts you have put but couldnt resist commenting after I read that Hema, Rekha, Jaya and sushma part. I had to pause and sing the 'Nirma' jingle once :P
You have this uncanny way with humor you know, and I love your writing for that :)
Now, let me finish the rest. Its pretty interesting so far.

The Fool said...

Glad you liked that touch.

jaish_vats said...

Thats a lot of parts TF. :) Will read one by one slowly and leave my comments as I finish. Seems interesting.

P.S I have not yet started reading, just read the intro.

The Fool said...

Well Jayashree - It is just a 4000 word story I submitted for the Harper Collins contest. To make it simpler reading I made each section a separate blog post.

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