One fine morning I got out of my bed
As the rays of the sun lit up my room
My eyes fell on a rose bush in full bloom
Smiling at me shy roses blushing red
My trance ended as a rose petal shed
The sight of fallen petals caused me gloom
Was it foreboding of impending doom?
Next week the flowers would be gone and dead!
On the table rested a silent vase
Filled with bright flowers to its brim
Flowers of plastic that forever lives
To me they seemed nothing but a disgrace
Beside the real ones their beauty dim
Doth transience the rose its beauty gives?
Picture Credit: http://www.everydayminimalist.com/?p=2070
34 comments:
It is a poem that shook my heart for an answer but I just stared and stared at those words only to concur with the question that itself is the answer. Evanescence is manifest in the very soul of beauty.
Thanks umashankar. It was an open question in my mind for which I also did not have an answer. Glad I was able to put my point across. I was fearing it might be too obscure.
It was a relief to read 'of fallen petals' in the middle of a sentence...'The sight of fallen petals caused me gloom'. Most people who attempted this one tried to begin a sentence with it with quite ludicrous results.
You must write poetry more often... there are places where this sonnet jerks, the rhythm breaks... though, on the whole, I did love the way it went on.
Thanks, Mr. Passey. This jerkiness and getting iambs right has always been my problem in poetry. Don't know if there is a technique to overcome or I have to get it through instinct and years of practice.
Either I am getting better with poetry or this one speaks directly to the heart! Good one TF
A classical style truly replicated no doubt, yet I loved the emotions beneath more!
loved the poem. Each one of us have a purpose in life. And once our goals are accomplished it would be time to leave. A rose though short lived brings joy and happiness ...perhaps that's the purpose of a rose's life ...
There is one thing people miss in Italian Sonnets..and TF, in this case, did not.
The octave of a sonnet normally talks of a problem and the sestet sings the resolution. Though your poem is not a problem-solution type, it does portrays two sides of something (in this case: Nature and Artificiality) and that makes it a good Italian one.
I for some reason cannot think of such pattern, hence I try my hands in Shakespearean ones, not Italian ones.
Thanks, CS. That was the point I was making to you - There are poetry that can be understood by all.
Thanks a lot AmitAag. Happy you could catch the emotion.
Thanks a lot, TTT. So happy you caught the drift of what I was trying to convey.
Thanks Diwakar. I had earlier tried Shakespearean. Now I am trying this. I like this about sonnet form best - it gives a conceptual framework along with structural framework. Shakesperean form also requires you to create 3 levels of complications in the 12 lines and resolve in the couplet.
love the way you have been able to express yourself in this format. does the transience of the rose actually play a role when we appreciate its beauty... i think not. it is the presence of life that makes it what it is... it is the life in the rose speaking to the life in us perhaps... perhaps in that speaking, there is a hint of the transience of life...
Thanks Subhorup. Frankly I don't know. It was just a though that occurred to me and wanted to put it to the reader. As you said life automatically means mortality which in turn mean transience.
Hi TF
Very nice one. I have read a poem in Hindi called 'Murjaya Phool' when I was in school. Your poem reminded me of that. Beautiful :)
Thanks jaishree.
cool got to knw abt sumthng new Italian sonnet...,
as far as the poem is concerned it was great :)
I agree, the transience of the rose makes its beauty even more precious and delicate. The things that we hold dear will not last forever, so let us behold it while it lasts. Loved the imagery your poem conjures.
Thanks, Saikat. You can find more information on Italian sonnet on the internet. There is more to it than what I have mentioned here.
Thanks Sandeep. Yes indeed. Good to see people thinking about the question in both ways.
Very beautiful poem....The natural beauty of real rose pleases eyes as well as heart...but an artificial one can only please eyes...
Thanks Valli. Exactly my point.
Your post teaches me there is much to learn about writing poetry;while i have just been penning my thoughts as they came to me.I wonder if they fit into any format at all.
Regarding your riddle--the gross is durable,the finer the substance,the more ephemeral it is likely to be.
Thanks indu. That is an interesting way of looking at it.
I loved it. I wish we could send two entries for the round. Yours and Vinay's :)
Thanks Saru. Coming from an established poet like you, it means a lot.
as you know, i am a fan of your humor posts and was searching for one here. saw this poem and gone through it. i do like poetry but cannot find words to appreciate them. all i can say is enjoyed the read. we actually get to know how an individual thinks by reading his/her poems.
@debajyothi - Been very busy. So posting is coming down. But there are lot of old humorous posts.
Thank you for this form.
I shall attempt too.
Do attempt it, Divenita. It is a classic form.
As long as it speaks to me, I do not look at your marks in the 'Did-u-follow-all-the-rules-of-poetry-Test', Ha Ha - But if I wanted that, I would be reading Shakespeare and Shelley and Blake and 'im and 'er out there....
I LOVE this post. The way I interpret it is that even something as beautiful as a Rose will wilt one day, so even ugly flowers gotta rejoice, for she will come down from her pedestal high up there and mix with my already-wilted petals....
Thanks, Shilpa. That is a nice interpretation. Nothing makes a poet happier than readers interpreting it in different ways.
Firstly, the image of roses exults with pure beauty and radiance. It pleases the eyes. Secondly, your poem justifies and reminds the reader how beautiful flowers are, as one of the creations of the nature. Lastly, I love the appearance of your blog. Impeccable indeed.
Thanks a lot, Guspazha Chinar.
Post a Comment
Kind words of appreciation/feedback