Great Indian Bride Hunt Rotations

I would like to say I am naming the concluding episode of my bride hunt story ‘The great Indian bride Hunt Rotations’ as by now I had acquired sufficient skill in bride management to see more than one girl at a time and smoothly rotate from one bride to the next and then back. But in the name of truthfulness and honesty I refrain from making such a claim. For most who have read the second part it would have been a foregone conclusion that the concluding part would be named ‘The great Indian bride Hunt Revolutions’. But that seemed cliched and I wanted something more original. So I named it ‘The great Indian bride Hunt Rotations’. Isn't that what originality is all about? What with Rumi Jaffrey the director of ‘God Tusi Great Ho’ claiming in an interview that his movie was a completely ’original’ concept having nothing to do with  'Bruce Almighty'. I also remember the 'completely original' questions in CBSE mathematics paper as compared to the Tamil Nadu state board exam paper. Whereas Tamil Nadu State board had problems directly from the text book in the board exam, CBSE introduced ‘originality’ in the paper by changing the numbers. Most writings are usually a healthy mixture of ‘good’ and ‘original’ stuff, though it often turns out that the parts that are good are not original and those that are original are not good as the great playwright G B Shaw once remarked to an aspiring writer who showed him his work. Having devoted adequate space to the usual male bovine’s excreta, let me now move on the actual story of the fabulous four, the last four girls I encountered.

After having seen a journalist, a chartered accountant and a HR executive, my parents decided to stop looking for fancy profiles and go for plain vanilla software engineers. In my dad’s generation bank clerks made excellent wives. They had so little responsibility in office that they could do full justice to their homes and families while at the same time making a significant contribution to the family fortune. In fact my dad’s three brothers had married bank clerks and even my mom had an appointment order for the post of a bank clerk at the time of marriage. The software engineering profession seems to hold similar esteem in the current times as the clerical jobs in a bank used to hold in my dad’s times. So my parents found a software engineer who was currently on an onsite assignment in the United States of America. Her dad as such was not too well off but who can say no to a ‘dollar Bahu’?

So I began my interactions with Anusuya Nagarajan (name changed to protect identity). The name seemed ominous with the word ‘nag’ in it. But fears were unfounded and she seemed like a breath of fresh air with the typical simplicity of a software engineer. She told me that she liked to read books on philosophy. She also told me that she was very fond of physical activity and enjoyed long walks in the open country side. My hopes began to soar and I began to dream of long walks in the country side discussing the nuances of philosophy with her. Philosophical walks have been popular from times memorial. In fact there is a path in Heidelberg in Germany called the ‘Philosopher’s walk’. But unfortunately my companions on the trip had neither the energy to complete the long walk not the fascination for philosophy. But unlike my companions then, this girl seemed to have both.

However there was a small hitch in our communications. My mobile phone did not have ISD call facility. So I had to wait for her to call me. One of the conversations got cut abruptly and the next day I was waiting for her to call back. She did not and the next morning I tried to call from telephone booth and I reached voice mail where I left a message. No response from her till that evening. That evening as I was boarding the local train I got a call from an unknown local number. A woman with a very feeble withered voice introduced herself, “I am Anusuya’s aunt. Anusuya gave me your number and asked me to speak to you. Is this a good time to speak to you? I hope you don’t mind me calling you.”

Now this was a new twist in the tale. I had not encountered this situation before. But I had read lot of books by PG Wodehouse where aunts played a pivotal role in marriages. Probably this aunt was also trying to assert her rightful place as the pivot in our marriage. Anyway I had nothing to do during the train journey. So I agreed to speak with her. She babbled incoherently for 10 minutes and then wanted me to speak to her husband. He wasn't much better either. I found myself not too much wiser at the end of 20 minutes. But anyway it was not going to be on my telephone bill. However I was curious what they wanted and asked my parents to find out. They had a similar experience and this time the telephone bill had been on our side. I presumed this was probably a test devised by the girl to see my ability to handle uncertainties in life. I developed a new respect for the girl for devising this kind of an innovative test. I wanted to come out of this test in flying colors. So next time she called up I told her “Your uncle and aunt spoke to me. Very nice people. I fully understand their concerns. Let them know they can put the concerns to rest. However there are some things I can’t compromise upon. We need to work them out. But there is nothing that can’t be worked out. I really appreciate their frankness in speaking out openly.”

If she seemed surprised at my response, she did not show it. But luckily for me, she did not press on further about the ‘concerns’ or ‘things I can’t compromise’. So I guess I passed her test.

We moved on to other topics and came to philosophy. She told me that she subscribed to the 'Robin Sharma School 'of philosophy but then believed that philosophy is mainly for ‘recreational’ purpose and should not be applied to practical life After all who would be stupid enough to give off his Ferrari in real life? Yes. She was not really too materialistic. She did not dream of having a Ferrari but she dreamed of having a BMW. And she began to go on on similar lines about what all she wanted to have. I began to reflect upon the ‘nag’ in her name again. And once she was done with her wish list for Santa Claus, she started talking about her cousin and what a good married life she was having. Once again a cousin! I began to fully appreciate the one child norm being advocated by the government. Other than population control, it had an additional advantage of eliminating these troublesome cousins over the next two generations. I could visualize what a wonderful world our grand children will inherit without any nosy aunts and cousins popping up at all the wrong places. Slowly the conversation winded down inconclusively. There was no contact after that day. I had lost interest. It seemed like she had also lost interest. No rejection mails like the previous occasions. After all, when minds think alike, where is the need for words?

And seems like the words do seem to have run out. There don't seem any left for the other three. The next three girls would be needing another post I guess.

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