3. Singer Sings Hydra Stings



One of the things any half decent management course teaches you is the importance of presentation. As a management student, the importance of presentation had been driven hard into Harvi’s head. Now that he had got some inkling of the nature of the challenges, he realized that it was critical to present himself as a proper hero. And one of the aspects of creating the right impression was proper attire and gear. So he logged on to Amazon.com on his mobile and ordered for himself an impressive looking long sword, a majestic cloak that claimed to offer protection against physical attacks, poison and magic and a few other hero accessories. This almost wiped out all his savings. However when the goods arrived he could not help feeling it was money well spent.

In the ancient days whenever heroes had any doubts on how to proceed on their quests, they would consult the Oracle. But in the present day Oracle was nothing but a dump for useless business data. Google was the one a hero had to turn to for any kind of help in his quest. Google Maps showed the location of Lerna but there was no High Draw anywhere on the map. So he decided to use Google search for High Draw. Most of the results were related to either golf or a card game. A feeling of relief came upon Harvi on discovering that this challenge was going to be just an innocuous game of golf or cards. This was replaced by a feeling of frustration and disappointment at having wasted so much money on the hero gear. He consoled himself that he could always earn money again as long as he stayed alive

He saw a shepherd pass by him as the GPS on his mobile phone indicated he was in Lerna. He hailed the shepherd and spoke up, “Sir, can you tell me where I can find the high draw

The moment he said high draw, a frightened look came on the shepherd’s face and he hurried away without a word. He met a farm labor who responded in a similar manner. But luckily the third person he met indicated the general direction where the high draw could be found before making his quick exit.

Harvi pondered why these men were reacting that way. Possibly it was a case of class struggle. The high draw players must be from the high society and must be oppressing these poor folks. The money spent on the hero attire was not in vain after all. They would stand him in good stead with the high society crowd. By now he was more or less near the spot where the high draw was supposed to be.

He suddenly stopped in his tracks. What was the sound he was hearing? It was like hissing of a dozen snakes. And the sound was getting closer and closer. Before he could turn back a weird looking creature was upon him. It looked like a gigantic monitor lizard with 9 heads sticking out like snakes. Suddenly it dawned on him: he had got it all wrong. All along his mission had been to destroy this grotesque creature: the hydra! And now the creature was coming to destroy him!

Due to the number of heads the creature was quite clumsy. However each of the heads darted at him rapidly. He swung the sword around and slashed at each head that came close to him. The sword was indeed turning out to be a good buy. It was extremely efficient. But it was not really effective in terms of the overall objective of slaying the monster. For each head severed, two new ones kept springing up. And at the end of 3 hours, instead of a creature with 9 heads, he was faced with one with 81 heads. He finally decided to do what he always did when the pressure levels became too high.

He threw down the sword, unwrapped his turban, let down his hair and started singing is his loud hoarse voice

Tere naam se jee loon
Tere naam se marr jaaun
Teri jaan ke sadke mein kuchh aaisa kar jaaun
Tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main
Ho ri ha ri ho gayi main
Teri deewani deewani-
Tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main
Ho ri ha ri ho gayi main
Teri deewani deewani


As he sang, he was transported to a different world. He forgot about the monster, the aliens and the quests. He was one with his song and he sang his heart out. When he finished his song, he looked around. The hydra lay dead at his feet. His singing was a torture for even a single pair of ears. 81 heads meant 162 pairs of ears and snakes have sensitive ears. One can only imagine the living hell the poor creature must have experienced before receiving the final mercy of death.

Having completed the second challenge fair and square, he was about to leave, when his eyes fell on the 80 odd snake heads of the dead hydra. This gave him an idea. He was after all an entrepreneur at heart. They say a true entrepreneur sees opportunity in adversity. And Harvi could see opportunity to replenish his sagging finances in the hydra’s adversity. He quickly got down to work extracting snake oil from the lifeless snake heads and bottling them. By the time he was done, he had around 250 bottles to put up for sale on e-bay. They would sell like hot cakes. Snake oil was always in demand. Having utilized the opportunity to make a quick buck, he was back on his way to Mycenae.

Next Part of the Story         :  Singer on a Wild Deer Chase
Previous Part of the Story    : Singer and the Lion
First Part of the Story          : Singer on the Roof

Picture credit : Hydra Picture

24 comments:

umashankar said...

Man, you not only have me clean bowled, each and every stump of mine is in bits! It was a breathtaking mix of satire, if crux, on Management gyan, class conflict and hazards of a Homo-sikhiens blaring his heart out.... You have me in your claws now!

DS said...

Wow! Everytime I read your blog, I hate to call you TF. This is just excellent, and extracting snake oil and putting it up for sale on ebay, how more innovative can it get!!!
Hope vodafone realises that this is gold.

The Fool said...

Thanks a lot, Umashankar. Hope I can maintain this tempo throughout the series.

The Fool said...

Thanks a lot, DS. By the way, snake oil salesman is a term for a fraud. Tried to play on that as well.

C. Suresh said...

Management cliches (efficiency vs effectiveness), technology, SF and Greek Myth! Tf this is one heady mix.

The Fool said...

Thanks,CS. Nice you caught the effectiveness-efficiency stuff. I had careless thrown it in between.

dvirada said...

Innovation Personified:) The heads of monster springing up twice in comparison to the heads severed is a more exciting concept than Ravana's head regrowing each time it was shot at in Ramayana:)

Maun Vision said...

The story is flowing great. art of penning at it's ultimate.

The Fool said...

Thanks, dvirada. The idea of 2 heads in place of one is not original as such though. It is from the original Hercules story.

The Fool said...

Thanks a lot, Pl. My first long series. Need all your support to take it till the end.

Bhavana said...

Lol this is even better than the previous one! Hydra dead because you sang a Hindi song, Google our new hero, and knowing your position using a GPS--well Internet could not have been more fun!!!

The Fool said...

Thanks Bhavana. Actually this one is earlier than the other one in the series chronology.

Punit Dubey said...

Lol! I just remembered that Tera Tera Tera Shuroor PJ ;)

Someone is Special said...

Poor Harvi wiped all his savings. He should have known the power of his voice..

The Fool said...

Actually I do not know the PJ, Punit.

The Fool said...

@SIS - Yeah. If he had known he would not have been singing.

Princess Poo said...

Marketing at the this time? o.O I love this guy :D.
Its really awesome as to how the Hydra was killed ;).
Too good TF JHI :D

The Fool said...

Thanks, princess. Thats the true salesman.

Vikas Khair said...

:) nice and High Draw wah wah .. somehow its really stupid and silly tale but it is funny and oh so wonderful too and yes it would be lovely as a novel.. Keep at it. BTW Hari seems a fan of my Chachaji's songs :) eh?

The Fool said...

I take silly and stupid as a compliment as that is how I meant it to be. I wanted to make a crazy take for laughs, not anything deep and serious.

Rafaa Dalvi said...

Ah just when I was wondering how you could kill 'High draw' in a hilarious manner, you came out with an absolute gem. Brilliant.

Vikas Khair said...

That is what I meant TF .. and you surely succeeded in achieving whatever you planned out to be.

Pankti Mehta said...

Of all the 3 parts I've read until now, this was the most hilarious one :D :D :D Proceeding further :P Over and out, Captain :D

The Fool said...

Thanks, Pankti. Yeah-with 14 parts there will be peaks and troughs. But stay on till the end.

Post a Comment

Kind words of appreciation/feedback

For whom the bell tolls

A book of faces