The Blackberry Crush Way


I really love the sound of a drink called Blackberry crush. It brings me memories of my childhood when I used to be in a small town in Tamil Nadu. I remember someone telling me about the illicit arrack manufacturing process. Apparently one of key ingredients in the arrack was crushed batteries. It supposedly delivered an extra kick. At that age I was not sure what this kick meant for I was familiar only with those I received at home when the teacher wrote something about my behavior in the diary. So for the life of me I could not figure out why that was a good thing. But years later I did have the opportunity to consume alcoholic drinks and understand the profound significance of the kick. So I figure if a mundane battery itself is able to give such a good kick,  a sleek Blackberry would surely be totally kick ass.

If this concept is tried and it works out, it can also solve the reverse supply chain problem of burgeoning electronic waste. We no longer have to worry about the impact of the fast pace of product development in the electronic industry on the environment. All the outdated mobile phones can be sent to the local breweries to manufacture Black Berry Crush, IPhone Smash and Android Squeeze.

This would also solve the problem humanity has wrestled with over the ages – how to make people smarter? Policy makers no longer have to struggle with complex education bills. Instead all people can be given drinks that have the essences of smart phones in them and they will automatically imbibe the smartness from the phones and turn smart.

So as we see, this divine nectar will have impact across three industries – technology, beverages and education. But the effects can be even more far reaching. If people in the country become smarter, they will be smarter in electing representatives as well. If candidates try to buy voters with alcohol, they will drink smart drinks and become even smarter. So the quality of governance can only increase. This will lead to a better and stronger nation.

In short India will become heaven on earth where rivers of milk honey and breezers will flow. A nation where people have stopped being country bumkins and island pineapples! A nation where people no longer crane their necks to look at the berries in their neighbor’s garden! A nation where no one differentiates between black and white or orange and lime! A nation where Indian reason rules over Jamaican Passion!

That is the power of the Blackberry Crush. Please go over here to support this noble drink for a better tomorrow.

Warning: The stunts in the picture are carried out by trained professionals. Readers are advised not to try it out at home. If you desperately want to have a Blackberry Crush after reading this post, please head to the nearest Bacardi outlet.

8 comments:

jaish_vats said...

Hi hi,blackberries and apples are no longer fruits I suppose :)

The Fool said...

Indeed that seems to be the order of the day.

Vijay Prabhu said...

Nice take TF crush your blackberry to get a kick :) loved it Welcome back to the contest arena and best of luck

The Fool said...

Thanks Vijay.

Roshan Radhakrishnan said...

I am literally having a Blackberry Breezer as I type this. Good to see you chose the best one :)
I'm really sad they aren't giving prizes in Kerala... us Mallu drinkers feel so heartbroken :D Oh well... what better way than to drink the sorrows away!!

http://www.godyears.net/2013/11/year-9-therell-be-peace-when-you-are.html

The Fool said...

Enjoy your breezer, doc. But don't have too many breezers before going into an operation theater.

Rachna said...

haha I expected this twist in Blackberry flavor! Good luck to you!

The Fool said...

Thanks, Rachna.

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