Revenge

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 22; the twenty-second edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
Writer's Note: Here I have attempted a fusion of 4 poetry forms : ballad, rondel, triolet and vilanelle. I was inspired by a prompt in One stop Poetry to post a poem based on a myth or story. Could not post in time for that one but I managed one here. I am not sure if this is the right forum for poetry. My earlier poem on Blog-a-Ton 'The Fool' was not too well received. But for a long time I have been having an itch to retell a story I had read long time back in school. It is by a Russian author. Can't remember which one. It is the tale of a young man accused of a murder commited by someone else. He is jailed and foresaken by even his near and dear. The story goes on to relate his reaction when the real murderer lands up in the same prison for a minor crime and our protaganist is the only witness of his escape attempt. It coincided well with this time's blog-a-ton theme of the month and here I am with a poem again on my 11th attempt here. I have tried to capture the protaganist's emotions through the three poems. The first one is a rondel, the second one a triolet and the third one a vilanelle. All 3 are French poetry forms. Also I have tried to maintain a pentameter (10 syllables) in every line. Ideally they should be iambic as well (Alternate short and long syllables). But I am not too great with English pronounciation having learnt my English mostly from reading and very little listening. So it is iambic if pronounced the way I do it. You can check out about all the four poetry forms at One Stop Poetry. This site has been agreat source of knowledge and inspiration for me. Unfortunately they are stopping their weekly feature from this week. But still the archives will be up I beleive. Do let me know what you think of my attempt.



Hunger for revenge

My beautiful life was stolen by him

His destruction my life’s only purpose

In jail spent I years most precious

The injustice of it has made me grim


For a wicked deed committed by him

Was I accused of crime cold and callous

My beautiful life was stolen by him

His destruction my life’s only purpose


A smart and merry lad, handsome and trim

No care in life, rich and industrious

A wife pretty, well read and gracious

Fortune had my life filled full to the brim

My beautiful life was stolen by him


Revenge served on a platter

This is the day for which I have waited

His fate has been handed into my hand

The hole under the wall I have sighted

This is the day for which I have waited

If the jailer were told what he wanted

to do, then would he in deep trouble land

This is the day for which I have waited

His fate has been handed into my hand


Taste of Revenge

My soul has burnt in life’s hot red furnace

In his utter ruin and destruction

Finally have I found source of solace


When the jailer disposes of his case

Like me, will he spend life in detention

My soul has burnt in life’s hot red furnace


I long to see the despair on his face

Sweet vengeance will give me satisfaction

Finally have I found source of solace


But will his plight my tales of woe erase?

Can I regain my life’s lost perfection?

My soul has burnt in life’s hot red furnace.


Forgiveness can only my woes efface

Bitter vengeance is no retribution

Finally have I found source of solace


Through suffering does one gain divine grace

This was my rite of purification

My soul has burnt in life’s hot red furnace

Finally have I found source of solace

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. This has also been submitted for Jingle Poetry weekly Poetry Pot Luck week 47 theme : History and Stories.

26 comments:

  1. Can feel the seething within and also like the debate in the mind. You have done a marvelous combination of various forms of poetry and I admire your simplicity in writing with a very powerful impact.Complicated words does not make a fine write but I love your choice of words which gives the desired effect!!

    Well written The Fool!!

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  2. Thanks a lot, Nanka. Your right. In my previous ballad I used too many flowery words trying to sound Shakesperean. Maybe thats why it did not work. This time I have been careful not to use too omplex words.

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  3. You are right in calling it a ballad-its poetic lilt is judiciously complemented by the message it carries.
    A very compelling composition-maybe I am exceeding my brief here but I feel that a comparison with "The Ballad of Reading Gaol" would not be too much off the mark.

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  4. Nicely done. Each verse is compact and well thought out.

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  5. Thanks for such a flattering comparison, Brijender. I had not read Oscar Wilde's piece. I checked it out after you mentioned. Really amazing one.

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  6. Thanks for the information on the different poetry forms. I loved the post. I suggest, shift the writer's note to the start rather than ending the post with it.

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  7. Thanks, Pavil. Taken your advice.

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  8. Never knew about these poetry forms
    :-(.. so that is a good knowledge gain for me.
    And of course the lines express the emotions beautifully.

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  9. The mood,setiment,and underlying pain has been captured quite well.The flow of the narrative is wonderful. Overall good to see such innovation and creativity in such limited parameters.

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  10. great piece of work i loved it/ .four different poetic forms . . .understanding them putting in the syllablic and iambic form is some amazing work u have done .... i am sure its hours of hardship. . . . .loved it . . and the message it delivered was impeccable

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  11. Ah, I have never been one for poetry but this is so well-written, I HAVE to applaud:)

    Good luck!

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  12. Thanks a lot, aativas, Gyanban, the crtic and Priyanka.

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  13. Very well written. I really liked the third part of the poem "Taste of Revenge". One really wants the taste to be sweet, but a lot of times it is not.

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  14. Must say, I have never been an ardent fan of peotry, but if this is poetry then I'm hooked. Somehow complicated words turn me off unless it is one of those poets of long ago. I love your simple words and the repeated lines emphasized the fury within without that over-crowding feeling some poems give me...Brilliant!

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  15. Very well written... All the best for BAT..

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  16. You have succeeded in all forms TF.. I love your poetry.. All the Best..

    Someone is Special

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  17. Thanks a lot, Shilpa, Sunil and SIS.

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  18. @TF: I am no great shakes when it comes to poetry and have tried my hand only once in this genre... So just my basic impression:

    AWesome stuff! mast hai! not much idea about styles etc; but the thing that was described was very well done!

    "ATB for the BAT...

    Read mine at Revenge is best when served cold

    Regards
    Wandering Thoughts "

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  19. I have not written in any of the three forms you've shown us here, but I do think all three of these poems are wonderful! They are tight, concise and lyrical...all needed to make an impression on the reader.Great job...

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  20. Thanks a lot, Aashish and Lynette.

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  21. cant imagine hw much effort u took wid dis.
    brilliant creative :)

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  22. well expressed sentiments.
    powerful revenge piece.
    Thanks for linking.

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  23. You did a great job working diffferent forms of poetry in this work. The flow was great and I enjoyed reading this very much. Congratulations!

    California Ink In Motion

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  24. Thanks a lot, Morning and themslvh

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Kind words of appreciation/feedback

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