To see the other selections, click here
Radhika turned around. There stood a lanky youth in a smart blue T-shirt and jeans. She frantically ran a search through the database lodged inside her skull. But no records were found matching this handsome young face. The young man seemed to read the blank expression on her face.
"I am Vamsi from your IIT classes, back in 2003. Don't you remember? I was in touch with you on Facebook even till last year."
She knew Vamsi. Yes. But this was not how she had imagined he would look like. Looks can be deceiving, especially on Facebook. She had hardly noticed him during her IIT entrance classes. So she had no memories of how he had looked then. When he had contacted her on Facebook three years back, she had imagined him to a dull, nerdy fellow from interior Andhra Pradesh. But then no way he would have known that. Thankfully!
"How can anyone forget the wiz kid of the Ramiah classes?", she lied. Vamsi had been a quiet introvert hardly known in the classes till the exam results came out. Even when the results came, it was only known that one Vamsi had made it to the top 100 ranks. Not too many could put a face to the name. But then who cared about these unpleasant truths from the past! She had been smitten by the first look of this young man and she wanted to know him better. "So what are you doing in Chicago?"
"I work at Goldman Sachs, New York. I had come down to Chicago to meet a client on Friday. Thought I would stay the weekend and see the city. "
"You are alone?" she enquired, running her dainty fingers over her smooth silky hair.
"Yup. I got no one to show me around here. What about you? You stay here?"
"Yes. I have been here for the past 3 years on an onsite assignment from Infosys. Tel me! How would you like a pretty young woman who knows the city for company ?" she said giving him a tantalizing smile and a flash of her eye lids that had driven thousands of guys crazy.
Vamsi nodded carelessly."Pretty woman, eh? Hope you’re not referring to one of those escort services that advertise all over the place. You know I am not into that kind of stuff."
That was a direct snub. But then that had upped the odds for her. She had played this game many times before. But for the first time, she was not the hunted, but the huntress. That made it all the more thrilling. She had had only disdain for the desperate young men who had vied for her attention. She had assumed Vamsi to be one of them when he had got in touch with her on facebook. But now she was discovering that he was altogether a different animal.
Radhika discovered that the winds of the windy city were blowing her way. Her hopes ascended as they went up the Sears tower. She knew she had made the catch of the millennia by the time they reached Millennium Park. Vamsi was apparently made of the same stuff dreams were made of. He was the perfect man for her in every sense. A BTech from IIT, a MBA from IIM, Ahmedabad, and most importantly a 7 figure salary. Well read, handsome and smart. And the most wonderful thing was the way their interests matched with respect to hobbies, books, movies, choice of food. Moreover, he seemed to have an uncanny ability to read her mind and literally take words out of her mouth. He was just too good to be true.
She continued to keep in touch with him even after he returned to New York. They began to talk to each other almost on a daily basis and the exquisite gifts he sent her every week! The gifts were well chosen and exactly the things she desired right from the depth of her heart. What a contrast from those stupid chocolates, trinkets and the greeting cards he used to send her from India 3-4 years back! She wondered whether he was really the same person.
They had known each other for 2-3 months now. Everything was perfect. But one thing continued to worry her. Why he had not yet popped the question? A man does not invest so much time and money on gifts without any ulterior motives. He seemed to talk about everything else but never about the future of their relationship. She slowly began to realize that unless she herself took initiative, things were not going to move. And during one of the phone calls she asked him
"Will you marry me?"
The phone call got cut before he could answer. She tried calling him. But his number was not reachable. For the next one week the number did not seem reachable. She decided to land up in New York and give him a surprise. So the next day she was at the Goldman Sachs office in new York. She asked for Vamsi at the reception.
"Just a minute, madam. He will join you presently", said the petite receptionist politely.
"Yes, madam. What can I do for you?"A short, thin bespectacled man in pin stripe coat stood before her.
"Well, I came to see Mr. Vamsi Reddy."
"I am Vamsi Bodapatti and as far as I know I am the only Vamsi in this office."
"I think I came to the wrong place. Sorry for the trouble." She was puzzled. Had he been cheating her in some way? But why? It did not seem to make any sense.
She decided to call the mobile company and check out regarding Vamsi's number. "No, madam. The number you mention has not been in use for the past 2 years. It was temporarily assigned to him while he was here on an assignment. It was disconnected when he returned to India" She remembered Vamsi's trip to US 2 years back. That was before his MBA and he had tried calling her. She had had no time for him then. Now time was useless without him.
She returned disappointed to Chicago. But she could not carry on with her life. Vamsi's memories continued to haunt her. She could not concentrate on her work. His face kept coming before her eyes. He had created a special space for himself in heart that nothing else could fill.
One of the days she was getting ready to go to the Navy Pier with her friends to divert her mind. She wanted to wear the pretty blue satin dress Vamsi had given her. But surprisingly she could not find it anywhere. Nor could she find the diamond pendant, nor the pearl necklace. Somehow all the gifts Vamsi had given her had mysteriously disappeared.
She made up her mind that she would get to the bottom of the Vamsi affair. She decided to retrace all his credentials. She called up the software company Vamsi had worked for during his last trip to USA. They said he had left to pursue his MBA. So that part of the story had been true. Next she got in touch with administrative office at IIM, Ahmedabad.
"Yes, Madam. Vamsi Reddy was enrolled as a student with us in the 2010 batch. But unfortunately he expired in a road accident last year"
This post was written for two prompts - Theme Thursday - Space and Three word Wednesday - Dainty, Haunting, Tantalize



30 comments:
Very nicely written...
That's a very good story. Held me from start to finish. I must admit I was half expecting your twist at the end.
Cool story, great font, and I just love Chicago!
Thanks!
Meryl
http://departingthetext.blogspot.com
Thanks for reading and commenting, Girl with red bag, Old Altonian and Meryl.
@Old Altonian - Yeah. Seems like I gave away the story too early.
mmmmm, told as a storyteller... no matter if one knows the end at the beginning... it is an unending story with 1001 ways told...
Thanks for the comment ms pie.
I think you gave the story away by telling it "top down" I know it would be a lot of work, but think about beginning your story at a point where they have become friends and work in the back-story of how they met as short "flashbacks" I hope you don't mind these comments. The best writing coach I ever had argued that writers don't always think long enough about how to sequence the story . . which includes where to begin it.
Thanks for your detailed comments Doctor FTSE. I get your point. Would have had much more effect that way. Shall rework the story sometime. I really appreciate the feedback. I maintain this blog to improve my story writing skills. So I eventually plan to rewrite most of my stories based on the comment feedbacks.
But . . but . . . commentators rarely give any real feedback! Usually they say "This is awesome" - or something equivalent, presumably so that the writer of the post will visit their blog and say "This is awesome" - or something equivalent in return. All of which helps precisely nobody.
@ Doctor FTSE - True. But then for every 8 such ,you do make a couple of friends from the commentators who start giving genuine feedback seeing you give them genuine feedback.
a beautiful story. i was glued till the end. Lovely.
Interesting ... and I like Doctor Fise's input. Would have been spookier that way
There seems a lot of change (better) in your writing from Indimag days. I do concur with Doctor FTSE's comment. This story cries to be started in the middle and go backwards and forwards. :)
Welcome back to my blog, Shail and Phoenixritu. I will definitely rework it as suggested by Dr. FTSE. But rework is never as fun as writing first time. However I guess a good story needs lot of hard work and not just having fun.
I am glad you see an improvement in my writing style, Shail.
Thanks a lot for reading my blog and commenting, twenties girl. Glad you liked it.
I agree with you. 'rework is never as fun as writing first time'! You bet. :) I simply hate it and neglect doing it. Not setting a good example, am I?? Lol.
I once read a story on similar lines a long time ago. It came in Bombay Times. It was about this guy who goes to a late night party and falls in love with a mysterious girl. When he tries to find her weeks after the party, he finds her home where her parents live. They tell her she has been dead for many years, and even show him the grave.
Thanks for your comments, Cutting Kahlua. I seen this story in the old DD serial Honee Anhonee as well. Here its a bit more complicated becuause she had also known him when he was alive and he had carried his love for her to his grave.
chilling fiction !!
I also remember a DD episode (dont remember the name) about a man who has recently returned home to his lover. They spend much time together and one day she invites him to her home and he comes to know that day was her shradh.
Thanks vhjamdar. Good to see you back at my blog.
I agree with you. 'rework is never as fun as writing first time'! You bet. :) I simply hate it and neglect doing it. Not setting a good example, am I?? Lol.
a beautiful story. i was glued till the end. Lovely.
But . . but . . . commentators rarely give any real feedback! Usually they say "This is awesome" - or something equivalent, presumably so that the writer of the post will visit their blog and say "This is awesome" - or something equivalent in return. All of which helps precisely nobody.
mmmmm, told as a storyteller... no matter if one knows the end at the beginning... it is an unending story with 1001 ways told...
This is the second post I'm reading from your blog. I just love the way you pick up bits and pieces from real life and turn it into these fascinating stories. Just loved this post:)
Thanks, Neha. Welcome to my blog.
I kind of expected the ending.
But...
predictability does not mean a story is not interesting. I was caught on every word...because the story was great!
Thanks, antara. Glad you liked. I somehow liked this flow and did not want to change even though people have suggested to change order of narration to make it more unpredictable
Hey no don't!
Ok...say Pride and prejudice...you KNOW what will happn in the end...but it doesn't stop people from reading it and loving it right? (i know I took an example from a totally different genre but oh well... :-P)
Good to know someone agrees with me, Antara. S
Strangely I have not read Pride and Preujudice. Somehow I have not been ableto motivate myself to read books of that genre.
Post a Comment