The abandoned station


At last a train was in sight. She had waited all through the dawn of her childhood, the morn of her youth and the noon of her middle age. In the eve of her life, her walls black and floors dusty, she cared no more for trains. That was not her purpose she had concluded.



Writer's note: My first ever 55 fiction inspired by stations I had seen in Japan built just for sake of simulating the economy without any true utility. I wanted to compare it to qualified employees in jobs not getting the work they deserve for so long that they finally give up by the time they get the work their qualification demands.

Related Post: Fool

45 comments:

Rumya said...

A nice old lady I see standing there. Liked the way you described the stages of her life.
Congrats on the first 55er!! :)
Your note is so true and interesting.

Amity said...

Cheers Fool!

Short...but you have covered a broad existence of one's life,til the time she's about to give up realizing that the purpose of her existence is not what she thought of!

This is an interesting 55 word fiction! :)

Amity said...

All the Best fof BAT 15! Good morning! :)

Someone Is Special said...

Interesting 55 words .. Lovely fiction..

Someone Is Special - My Country - My Love - My Promise

--Someone Is Special--

The Fool said...

Thanks Amity.

The Fool said...

Thanks Rumya. I intrepreted the pciture in terms of my current mood.

The Fool said...

Thanks SiS

Brijender said...

Beautiful choice of words,reminded me of a sentiment that often echoes in my own thoughts-"...to make the most of what remains of the day...".

The Fool said...

Thanks Brijender. This time I am liking the comments. Nice to see the different thoughts it provokes in different people. Wanted to actually leave it open ended without and explanation but ended up describing my thout process.

Muddassir Shah said...

Very apt. Concise but conveys loads.
very wellwritten :)

The Fool said...

Thanks Mudassir

Megha said...

There are many who are just doing what their job demands but not what their heart and soul wants....Some don't realise this and some give in to circumstances.

very nicely written. But I don't understand about Japan thing u wrote. Can u plz elaborate. Would like to know more. Coz I think that's the most powerful country who have seen the transience from rags to riches....as what I read from 'Made in Japan' book.

RiikaInfinityy said...

lovely words and beautifully written :) Waiting can be for eternity I guess...:3

Zainab Urooj said...

I cant believe you've put it across so nicely and precise. Good Thought and Good Luck

The Fool said...

Thanks Megha. What I meant here is people are into a job they like but they wait for the wonderful project which never seems to come.

In Japan, they wanted to keep the economy running. So they too it too far and kept constructing infrastructure like crazy to keep people employed and maintain cash flow. So tiny villages ended up huge stations and insignificant places were connexted by excellent roads. Hope yout getting the point.

The Fool said...

Thanks a lot for your praise, Zainab.

The Fool said...

Thanks a lot RiikaInfinity.

Cherry Blossom said...

A precise work of art with a complete meaning. Its easy to write elaborate tales but very difficult to express your thoughts in concise script. You have done a wonderful job. Your article is symbolical of a lady who achieves a tranquil state of mind after a load of frustrations. So true in reality. All the best.

Shruti said...

I was spellbound! We all tried telling this in more than 500 words which u told in just 55Words! Never knew 55F could be this much powerful!

Awesome!
~Shruti

The Fool said...

Thanks a lot for the compliment, Shruti.

The Fool said...

Thanks a lot, Cherry Blossom. Glad you appreciate the meaning I wanted to convey.

Megha Haware said...

ohk...didnt know about this,...thanks for updating my knowledge :)
now the whole plot is very clear to me :)

btw do u live in Japan ?

The Fool said...

Not now. I was there for 4 months on exchange when I was doing my MBA in a quaint little village among rice fields and excellent roads and huge station.

Vaish said...

Lovely 55er. Precise writing, and so powerful!! All the best for BAT!!

The Fool said...

Thanks Vaish

Sidrasayeed said...

Sometimes understanding what you want is all it takes. Using the train (train-station) as an allegory definitely lent a stronger message.

The Fool said...

But understanding what one really wants is easier said than done. Thanks for your comment, Sidra.

Kshitij said...

Okay :)
First of all, that station without utility is surprising. Why do they do it? (havent reaearched on the Internet... havent read other comments... sorry)
Your comparison with employees, am not able to relate to it 100% I'd say. By any chance, are you speaking from your personal experience?

It's a great attempt as first - easy to understand and crisp.
Between - am getting another thought while writing this.. I think a great 55F should not need a writer's note. But you have an exclusive uncommon point here :)

The Fool said...

Actually they do that to give employment to people and the the economy running. If in India too less infra is the problem, in Japan too much infra is the problem.

I write well when it emotionally connects to my personal issues. Like in project based jobs like IT and consulting, you keep waiting for the ideal project. And after a long time, if you don't get one, you tend to get frustrated. This is just one of the situations. But there are multiple situations in life where you wait for something a long time and by the time you get it you realize you have lost interest and want it no longer.

I disagree about great works not needing writer's note. Great works need to be read multiple times and must reveal more and more meaning as the reader reads it. And needs lot of critical analysis etc. But readers do not have patience for small time writers like us. So they won't bother to take the effort. So better to give some explanation to ensure readers do not have to tax their brain too much. You must have read about an experiment where one of the world's greatest violinist who people pay thousands to listen to was playing on the street like some roadside guy. People hardly have him a second look.

The Fool said...

And yeah, thanks for your detailed comments.

Raksha Raman said...

Thank you for this 55er that is quite intriguing. At times, things fall into place at a time least expected/appreciated. Irony!

Didn't know about the Japan bit though. Good that you shared, now I know something new. ATB with BAT! Cheers! :)

The Fool said...

Thanks Raksha.

RESTLESS said...

Hi!

A different thought... very different. Like it.

ATB FOR BAT

RESTLESS

Sweta said...

very different take on this topic of BAT.
best of luck for BAT :)

Vikas Khair said...

Hey Fool .. it may be ur first 55er but still you took care of that as masters do. very well indeed

ATB for BAT-15

Vikas Khair - Station of My Dreams and Love

Psyche's Visage said...

Nice one. First 55er i've come across for this BAT and that too it's not the usual type in 55er. A different take on the topic too. Did you know, the actual Alston station in that picture was also abandoned in 1970s. Now it's a tourist attraction but that's about it.

The Fool said...

Thanks Psyche's Visage. I didn't know about the actual station. Thanks for the information.

The Fool said...

Thanks Sweta.

The Fool said...

Thanks a lot, Restless.

Lolland said...

wonderful take on the topic... i love when a great story can be told in as few words as possible... though 55 is too few for me.. :P
Do check out my post The past is a different country.

tavish{Sensible Bakwas} said...

nice attempt for a first time...

Kshitij said...

Why haven't you been participating?

The Fool said...

Nice of you to check out. Getting into some kind of a blogger's block. Hopefully I will participate next time. Shall check out your entry though.

Kshitij said...

OKay. I will watch out for you in the next round. Thanks for checking my entry out.

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