The abandoned station


At last a train was in sight. She had waited all through the dawn of her childhood, the morn of her youth and the noon of her middle age. In the eve of her life, her walls black and floors dusty, she cared no more for trains. That was not her purpose she had concluded.



Writer's note: My first ever 55 fiction inspired by stations I had seen in Japan built just for sake of simulating the economy without any true utility. I wanted to compare it to qualified employees in jobs not getting the work they deserve for so long that they finally give up by the time they get the work their qualification demands.

Related Post: Fool

45 comments:

  1. A nice old lady I see standing there. Liked the way you described the stages of her life.
    Congrats on the first 55er!! :)
    Your note is so true and interesting.

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  2. Cheers Fool!

    Short...but you have covered a broad existence of one's life,til the time she's about to give up realizing that the purpose of her existence is not what she thought of!

    This is an interesting 55 word fiction! :)

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  3. All the Best fof BAT 15! Good morning! :)

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  4. Someone Is SpecialOctober 02, 2010

    Interesting 55 words .. Lovely fiction..

    Someone Is Special - My Country - My Love - My Promise

    --Someone Is Special--

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  5. Thanks Rumya. I intrepreted the pciture in terms of my current mood.

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  6. Beautiful choice of words,reminded me of a sentiment that often echoes in my own thoughts-"...to make the most of what remains of the day...".

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  7. Thanks Brijender. This time I am liking the comments. Nice to see the different thoughts it provokes in different people. Wanted to actually leave it open ended without and explanation but ended up describing my thout process.

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  8. Muddassir ShahOctober 02, 2010

    Very apt. Concise but conveys loads.
    very wellwritten :)

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  9. There are many who are just doing what their job demands but not what their heart and soul wants....Some don't realise this and some give in to circumstances.

    very nicely written. But I don't understand about Japan thing u wrote. Can u plz elaborate. Would like to know more. Coz I think that's the most powerful country who have seen the transience from rags to riches....as what I read from 'Made in Japan' book.

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  10. lovely words and beautifully written :) Waiting can be for eternity I guess...:3

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  11. Zainab UroojOctober 02, 2010

    I cant believe you've put it across so nicely and precise. Good Thought and Good Luck

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  12. Thanks Megha. What I meant here is people are into a job they like but they wait for the wonderful project which never seems to come.

    In Japan, they wanted to keep the economy running. So they too it too far and kept constructing infrastructure like crazy to keep people employed and maintain cash flow. So tiny villages ended up huge stations and insignificant places were connexted by excellent roads. Hope yout getting the point.

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  13. Thanks a lot for your praise, Zainab.

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  14. Thanks a lot RiikaInfinity.

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  15. Cherry BlossomOctober 03, 2010

    A precise work of art with a complete meaning. Its easy to write elaborate tales but very difficult to express your thoughts in concise script. You have done a wonderful job. Your article is symbolical of a lady who achieves a tranquil state of mind after a load of frustrations. So true in reality. All the best.

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  16. I was spellbound! We all tried telling this in more than 500 words which u told in just 55Words! Never knew 55F could be this much powerful!

    Awesome!
    ~Shruti

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  17. Thanks a lot for the compliment, Shruti.

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  18. Thanks a lot, Cherry Blossom. Glad you appreciate the meaning I wanted to convey.

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  19. Megha HawareOctober 03, 2010

    ohk...didnt know about this,...thanks for updating my knowledge :)
    now the whole plot is very clear to me :)

    btw do u live in Japan ?

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  20. Not now. I was there for 4 months on exchange when I was doing my MBA in a quaint little village among rice fields and excellent roads and huge station.

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  21. Lovely 55er. Precise writing, and so powerful!! All the best for BAT!!

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  22. SidrasayeedOctober 05, 2010

    Sometimes understanding what you want is all it takes. Using the train (train-station) as an allegory definitely lent a stronger message.

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  23. But understanding what one really wants is easier said than done. Thanks for your comment, Sidra.

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  24. Okay :)
    First of all, that station without utility is surprising. Why do they do it? (havent reaearched on the Internet... havent read other comments... sorry)
    Your comparison with employees, am not able to relate to it 100% I'd say. By any chance, are you speaking from your personal experience?

    It's a great attempt as first - easy to understand and crisp.
    Between - am getting another thought while writing this.. I think a great 55F should not need a writer's note. But you have an exclusive uncommon point here :)

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  25. Actually they do that to give employment to people and the the economy running. If in India too less infra is the problem, in Japan too much infra is the problem.

    I write well when it emotionally connects to my personal issues. Like in project based jobs like IT and consulting, you keep waiting for the ideal project. And after a long time, if you don't get one, you tend to get frustrated. This is just one of the situations. But there are multiple situations in life where you wait for something a long time and by the time you get it you realize you have lost interest and want it no longer.

    I disagree about great works not needing writer's note. Great works need to be read multiple times and must reveal more and more meaning as the reader reads it. And needs lot of critical analysis etc. But readers do not have patience for small time writers like us. So they won't bother to take the effort. So better to give some explanation to ensure readers do not have to tax their brain too much. You must have read about an experiment where one of the world's greatest violinist who people pay thousands to listen to was playing on the street like some roadside guy. People hardly have him a second look.

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  26. And yeah, thanks for your detailed comments.

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  27. Raksha RamanOctober 05, 2010

    Thank you for this 55er that is quite intriguing. At times, things fall into place at a time least expected/appreciated. Irony!

    Didn't know about the Japan bit though. Good that you shared, now I know something new. ATB with BAT! Cheers! :)

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  28. Hi!

    A different thought... very different. Like it.

    ATB FOR BAT

    RESTLESS

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  29. very different take on this topic of BAT.
    best of luck for BAT :)

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  30. Hey Fool .. it may be ur first 55er but still you took care of that as masters do. very well indeed

    ATB for BAT-15

    Vikas Khair - Station of My Dreams and Love

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  31. Nice one. First 55er i've come across for this BAT and that too it's not the usual type in 55er. A different take on the topic too. Did you know, the actual Alston station in that picture was also abandoned in 1970s. Now it's a tourist attraction but that's about it.

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  32. Thanks Psyche's Visage. I didn't know about the actual station. Thanks for the information.

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  33. wonderful take on the topic... i love when a great story can be told in as few words as possible... though 55 is too few for me.. :P
    Do check out my post The past is a different country.

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  34. tavish{Sensible Bakwas}October 15, 2010

    nice attempt for a first time...

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  35. Why haven't you been participating?

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  36. Nice of you to check out. Getting into some kind of a blogger's block. Hopefully I will participate next time. Shall check out your entry though.

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  37. OKay. I will watch out for you in the next round. Thanks for checking my entry out.

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  38. Hi,
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